Across the globe, help has become the harness, leash and a very sharp tool to deprive individuals of their freedom and peace, and most individuals suffer its consequences. Help is evil.
In ancient days, help was indeed music to ears; soothing and healing, as opposed to the current state whereby it hurts, exposes individuals’ nudity, and worse, crucifies the vulnerable and helpless.
Nowadays help is pinned with high expectations, pay backs and interests thus a Vietnamese proverb says, ‘If one receives a plum one must return a peach’. A young orphaned girl once received help from an older man, who posed as a family member, to provide her with almost everything she needed.
But later on the lad asked the innocent girl to become his wife against her will just because of the help he offered to her all those years. It was payback time. It is palpably clear that the man had his expectations pinned on this help from the beginning while the secret was totally concealed for the girl.
She entered into marriage reversely and with cold feet mixed with a feeling of betrayal. In this regard this woman has been deprived of her right of choice.
In most cases, help is offered when clear and succinct information has been provided concerning the individual and most people take advantage of the vulnerable by looking for their skeletons in their cupboards and exposing them to others.
I once confided my HIV status to someone I trusted only to find out that she told the world about it. It hurt me to my soul since she had assured me that it will stay between the two of us.
Thus help is employed as a precise tool for vilification of character. Stripping the person off respect and leaving one without confidence. It is meant to destroy even the last shards of strength there ever left.
A great majority may contest that help does not have the shape I have given it today, especially because it originates from God. But I have indeed realized that, just like liquid, help takes the shape of the container. In other words, it depends more on how and why it is offered – the motives behind the actions.
The best way to shape help is to offer it without expectations, depriving others of their right to exercise their freedom and perceiving them puppets rather than human beings. There is a thick line between help and favour since help does not expect returns.
Let us help to bring about change and peace of mind to others and ourselves respectively. Let us stop crucifying the vulnerable but pour oil on their wounds for the betterment of their lives. Let us help not seek praise from the world but to await blessings from the Almighty. Let us help to heal not to hurt.