Overcome the fear of rejection with these tips

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Rejection hurts. Whichever way you choose to think about it, it really hurts. Perhaps, it hurts more than a great deal of many of our other fears.

Being rejected may at times feel like somebody has torn your heart out, giving it back to you one bite at a time. That may be too exaggerated, but you get the point.

About that brilliant business idea, why haven’t you consulted potential sponsors? About that pay increase you’ve always wanted, why haven’t you spoken to your superiors about it?

Have you ever been awake all night because of the upcoming sales pitch you were supposed to undertake? This one goes to the men, why haven’t you approached that lady?

Why do people spend a lot of frightful, sleepless nights prior to attending their job interviews? I’ll tell why, the fear of rejection. You see of all the fears that people have, this one is the very controlling.

People have always found ways of coping with other fears. For instance, many have dealt with their fear of heights. Some have come to terms with their fear of visiting a dentist. Some have even found ways of going for bungee jumping.

All these have called for a great deal of courage to overcome. Yet, for some reason, people who have mastered all these still very much cringe when they think about the possibility of being rejected. That says rejection maybe trickier that we have thought.

If unmonitored, it can really mess you up. It can be paralyzing. Many people are under its sway. It has a very tight grip on them and their thinking. Many of those have failed by default in the journey of life.

One undeniable fact is that, many of us are no strangers to some form of rejection. Of course, some have experienced it more than others. Believe me, that little “devil” has the potential to ruin anyone’s day. Have your ever heard of the phrase ‘a-living-hell?’ Well, unhealthy fear of rejection can lead you into such an atmosphere.

Obviously, one way or the other we have to figure out a way to slay this fear of rejection. We all have to be cautious at all times. However, we have to be courageous. The following are a few suggestions on how this dragon-fear of rejection can be slain.

Crystal Raypole in 10 Tips for Overcoming Your Fear of Rejection suggests:

  • Remember that it happens to everyone: rejection is a pretty universal experience, and fear of rejection is very common, explains Brian Jones, a therapist in Seattle… Reminding yourself that rejection is just a normal part of life- something everyone will face at some point- may help you fear it less.
  • Keep things in perspective if you’re more sensitive to rejection and spend a lot of time worrying about, you might imagine a lot of worst-case scenarios… This type of negative thought spiral is called catastrophizing, and it’s usually not very realistic. Consider giving yourself a couple of actionable backup plans or coming up with counterarguments to some of your main fears.
  • Figure out what really scares you about rejection: exploring what’s really behind your fear of rejection can help you address that specific worry.
  • Face you fear: sure, if you don’t put yourself out there, you won’t experience rejection. But you probably won’t achieve you goals either. Going for what you want gives you the chance to experience success. you might experience rejection- but then again, you might not.

These and many in your arsenal can help you constructively deal with the fear of rejection, especially when it paralyzes.


Teboho Polanka
Teboho is a Social Worker, Writer and Inspirational Speaker. He is in pursuit of MSc. in Managerial Psychology. Graduates are able to apply psychological principles and methods to tackle challenges in the work environment and provide effective practical solutions. Acting as industrial-organizational psychologists.