How to Blend in Well While Tapping into Your Full Potential

By Khothatso Kolobe

Photo by Hans Eiskonen on Unsplash
Photo by Hans Eiskonen on Unsplash

So far we have overcome distractions, maintained focus and increased our creativity still keeping cool under pressure. Now we dwell upon the social nature of your brain.

Act 3: Cooperate with Others

The formation of collaborations is central to excellent performance in almost every endeavor. This we all know, what is of more interesting is how the social world is a source of gigantic conflict.

There are social needs that if viewed as basic needs for the brain, can lead to the dissolution of conflict in the social scene. These needs ought to be met to reduce threat levels that explode into conflicts.


Scene 10: Befriending Foes

Social issues matter immensely to the brain. Just got reminded of a TED Talk that outlined how life expectancy is highly correlated with social relationships compared to a healthy diet and frequent exercise. I finally comprehended that human beings are definitely social beings. That inner circle of people you can count on is as important as your life, hold on to them. Be there for them.

There are these things called mirror neurons that capacitate the brain to understand other people’s intent to facilitate feeling connected to them. Christian Keysers, a leading mirror neuron researcher clarifies that seeing people intentionally gives you the intuitive understanding of people’s goals.

Social interaction is most effective face to face because mirroring can be done with greatest ease. Sometimes you meet strangers and feel a bit uneasy. Break the ice with small talk and you are likely to make a friend. There is a lot to gain than lose from such a gesture.

Let’s talk collaboration. Conversing with someone about even something as simple as the weather makes you perceive them as a friend. Before that, you can shake hands and swap names. This is wonderful because seeing someone as a threat makes you act stupid.

After the small talk, move to spreading activation. This is where you exchange ideas. Many regions of your brains are activated, simplifying the recalling of ideas. No wonder why group discussions can be helpful.

To encourage you, research in positive psychology reflects that long term happiness originates from the quality and quantity of social interactions. Positive connection to others, a feeling of relatedness and belonging is a basic need.

Be at the centre of friends that build you, it improves your thinking, allowing you to view life from various novel perspectives. Having a circle of trust contributes to sharing insights, broadening thinking and showing you how you interpret the world.

Scene 11: Dealing with Unfairness

Labelling and reappraisal is the best route to go in addressing unfairness. What many people do not know is that fairness is deeply rooted within us. Research has shown that it is easier to mentally deal with being hungry than witnessing unfairness and letting it slide.

It has been discovered that even in business, by The Harvard Business Review, the impact of downsizing is relatively less when those involved understood the decisions to have been made under fair play. We can further admit how transparency and accountability serve as fairness mechanisms in governance.

You can expect someone to be fair and get a nice dopamine high. Unexpected fairness can be twice as pleasant. As a result, try doing random acts of kindness and brighten a stranger’s day.

However, if you expect someone to be fair with you and they fail, you get a double negative blow. It explains the deep offence that strikes when someone you trust treats you unfairly.

Be open and transparent in your dealings with people, unfairness is easy to trigger and can cause extensive damage.

Scene 12: Status

People do insane things such as buying designer clothes that cost as much as five times the reasonable price for the same piece of clothing. They will tell you that they cannot wear clothing from certain not so fancy stores and go the extra mile to tell you how expensive their shoes are if you do not seem to notice. Status.

Studies reveal that you create a representation of your own and someone else’s status in the brain when you communicate. This act influences how you interact with others.

Naomi Eisenberger, a leading social neuroscience researcher at UCLA unveiled that exclusion and rejection is physiologically painful. A feeling of being less than other people was found to activate the same brain regions as physical pain.

Rock (our author) went further by stating that people do not like being wrong because it drops your status in a manner that feels dangerous and unnerving. You must see why people like winning arguments, including the pointless ones.

As much as we may want to deny it, we are programmed to feel rewarded by any incremental increase in status. It is among the most enjoyable feelings in the world.

I have to quote David Rock almost verbatim on this one because the point is so eloquently placed. A feeling of high status helps you process more information, including more subtle ideas with less effort. With the support of increased positive emotions, ample resources of the prefrontal cortex are availed to assist you think at multiple levels.

Additionally, there is more chance to activate your director on demand. People with elevated status are better equipped to pursue their intentions more on account of control, increased support and more attention from others.

Status is not necessarily connected to money, you can raise yours by working on improving your positive aspects with emphasis of constantly outdoing yourself without threatening others. The benefits of this are attractive. They include wearing a SCARF. Raising your Status. Increasing Certainty. Increasing Autonomy. Increasing Relatedness. Making people treat you Fairly.

Reduce status threats by sharing positive feedback and your own mistakes.

We are completing the book tomorrow, almost about to fully see Your Mind at Work with assistance from David Rock. Act 4 concludes with change facilitation.


Khothatso Kolobe. I am just a creative willing to do and be anyone and anything to make a positive impact. My creative history is available on my Facebook and Instagram (@artzoniac). A multi dimensional being accomplishing universal good.