Hold Onto Your Grace

Poem by Tamanyane Thulo

102
Oftentimes I wonder,
 How normality feels,
 I have seen though,
 That normality is overrated,
 I dare you slide in my shoes,
 Then you’ll get your burn,
 And understand how I feel.
You look at me now,
 With enmity overflowing in your eyes,
 With scorn in your heart,
 With no empathy whatsoever,
 You think the expression of my pain is but a ploy,
 For your your stupid attention,
 "Does this really trigger you?," you sarcastically ask ,
 With no remorse, you find amusement in my disorder,
 As though it is I,
 Who chose to drink from this forsaken cup…
Like the moon,
 My anxiety shines brightest in the dark,
 The void of darkness in me overshadows all good,
 Like the sad person I am,
 I lay in my bed wetting my cheeks,
 With oceans of salty water.
There is an upside to this tide,
 I believe that I will heal,
 You try to pull me down,
 But I am strong enough to hope,
 As sad as my plight is,
 Every night I say a prayer,
 “Help me Lord, I want to beat this disorder.”, I sigh.
As my pen bleeds today,
  I chose to write for those who are like me
 This is for you who wakes up everyday and cries,
  With oceans of salty tears flooding your eyes you sometimes get tired,
  You whose world always seems to be falling at your feet,
  I can't tell you that things will get better,
 I know all too well how they might not,
 Regardless of desperately you want to hear it, I can't.
 That weight you carry of the hate of this world may tear you,
 Please promise me that you won't give in,
 You're not as  feeble as they make you feel,
 That which may seem a frailty in the eye of an on-looker is your greatest strength.
I know all to well how death at times may seem a sweeter cup to sip from,
 I too know of how enticing that deal with the devil seems,
 but darling, don't give in, for you my child are not frail,
  Trust me—that which may seem an infirmity in the eye of an arbitrator,
 Hold onto it,
 THAT IS YOUR GRACE.

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Grace is an uprising youth activist who uses her voice to inspire and inform. She has worked internationally as the Deputy Secretary General with Model UN Impact. This is where she advocated for youth inclusivity in the implementation of the SDGs and further launched projects such as PHAHAMA MOSALI. She is currently the youngest SDGs Ambassador for the internationally renowned Global Citizens Innovative Solutions SDGs Challenge.