Black Trauma: Ordeals of trying to heal

Photo by Zach Vessels on Unsplash

It’s become a sort of a norm in the Black community to sweep our issues under the rug, instead of tackling these issues head on and resolving them. We avoid communication and confrontation at all costs. The mere mention of therapy frightens the Black folks so much so that you would swear they have seen the boogieman.

Well, in order for therapy to work we need to adopt a virtue of great candor. That right there is what invokes the panic; being honest. Especially to be honest with oneself, it is not a walk in the park.

I think it is safe to say that this is the one Achilles heel that lives in every Black household. And the saddest part is that this trauma is being passed down like tradition from one generation to the next.

The only hope in sight is that brave one in the family; who takes the bold, conscious decision of ending the cycle. Often they do this without any emotional support system whatsoever from their family. Forever being criticized and mocked for their bold stance.

Healing on its own is like a trek through the Kalahari; the constant self-doubt of this journey you have embarked on. You honestly feel like a fool for having attempted to walk the Kalahari alone (in this instance you’re walking through all those feelings, all that trauma).

You want to turn back every five minutes when the sun’s scorching hot, your throat’s dry, and every muscle in your body is telling you not to walk any further. Confronting one’s demons is an excruciating pain for the most part, and more often than not, you will want to quit at any interaction with your true self.

Then comes nighttime when the wild beasts come out to play. It gets really dark and lonely, but you have to forge through all that to see the light again. In all honesty, the trek can be made.

You just need to believe in yourself and your “ridiculous” dream of a healthier and a wholesome you to make it through. Yes! People will mock and criticize you. So what? They are just trying to discourage you from straying a norm they have built for themselves. Do not let their fear of confronting themselves from all angles give life to your fear crippling your dreams.


Mots'elisi Phakisi is a born creative. She is a personal blogger and an aspiring actress who believes that in order to become the best versions of ourselves we ought to always listen to our insticts, and constantly confront ourselves with the utmost candor. Call her naive but she's a firm believer that love heals all.